No Love For Loser

Yesterday was pretty eventful, but before I tell you that, I must back track a little bit. A few days ago a met a kid online through an acquaintance. I don't wanna blatantly talk about him to complete strangers, so I shall assign him the nick name, "Harmony." In fact that's his internet handle, so if he reads this then he'll know I'm talking about him, but whatever. He is a cool guy. I became pretty attached to him and was able to call him a friend much sooner then I could for most people. Anyways, he joined my R.O.H.A.N. group, (It's an online video game) Our group talks on Skype a lot. It's kind of our temporary place to plan stuff for the game or just chat. Long story short, he fell in "love" with another member. We'll call her "Compulsia." Now, I use quotation marks around love, not because I doubt his feeling towards her, but mainly because I can never determine the difference between love and crush for people other then myself.

They kept their attraction a secret but Harmony is a very obvious person and I figured it out on my first guess. I was told to keep it a secret, which I am... Unless you count typing this, but whatever, haha. So the next day, which was yesterday, Harmony invited both Compulsia and myself to hang out with him. I haven't had a chance to meet him in person, so I jumped at the chance to get outta the house. We had a pretty good time, but I knew I was only there for one reason. I was the connection between Harmony and Compulsia. I was there to back him up and make it seem as though he wasn't coming on too strongly. Regardless, I had a good time. Finally, a little after 10pm, they dropped me off at my house. About 5-10 mins later, I went outside to my garage fridge to grab a beverage. They were still there. Her car was still parked in my driveway. I playfully ran over and made a "shooing" motion with my arms. Then I saw it. They were making out in my fucking driveway. They saw me and drove away quickly.

Now, I wasn't furious, nor was I that mad. They are my friends and I want them to be happy. That's why I agreed to go in the first place. Instead, I became very sad and a little envious. It seems that everyone is either content with being single or in a relationship, except me. I'm in love, but that person doesn't love me back. We are great friends and he is an amazing person, but he doesn't share the same feelings for me that have for him. It's a situation were he will never love me back. Normally I try not to think about it, which is doable but nearly impossible, but last night just made me realize how lonely I am. I turn 18 later this month, and I've never been in a relationship. Well, that's not really the problem, because I don't want just a relationship. I want his love... I'm gonna go draw now. Thanks for reading this.